How to keep your children pure until marriage

In a corrupted world in which depravation awaits at every crossroad, the dedicated mothers who prevent these vicious blasphemies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Christian Pure Children Unit. These are their stories:

Raising a child in the Christian tradition can sometimes be difficult, especially with the Devil always nearby, he seizes the slightest opportunity to fill our innocent darlings with vicious thoughts.

But don’t panic, girls, for all my children hate the idea of having sex, I have worked tremendously hard to reach this goal.

Hello, I’m Kristin, and now I will give you my secrets.

First of all, you need to be understanding. If your child wants to speak with you about sexuality, most likely because he accidentally watched a teenage movie on n-evil-flix, don’t blame him, but instead try to remind him that lust is a serious sin, and sex outside marriage is the Devil's temptation.

Be reassuring. He is not alone with his impulses, Jesus is always here to help him and love him (putting a cross in every room could remind him of the power of God at anytime).

Be informative. Speak about contraception, explain that if it blocks sperm, it lets the Devil and the shame ‘come’ inside.

Be supportive. Being an adolescent is not an easy thing, so help him by showcasing sexually transmitted disease pictures, and explaining that it is the Devil's punishment, to convince him to make the good choice (you can also talk about Hell, where all fornicators are sent, but don’t be too scary, and also mention Heaven for the virtuous).

Be attentive. You have to constantly monitor your child, and regularly search his room for disgusting magazines, as it is important for any object of temptation to be removed quickly. Obviously, never allow your children to go on the internet, and don't buy them a smartphone; anyway, they don't need it, you pick them up every day after school.

Be smart. You want your child to be happy, so praise to him the merits of marriage, explain to him that it's like uniting with God, which allows sex to become legal and without risks.

Be considerate. Being a mother starts when you are pregnant, so pray for your embryo to become a child of purity. The Lord will protect your child better than an atheist one. Also, pray twice if it’s a girl, as she will attract many more temptations.

Finally, be a good Christian mother. Invite your boy or girl to pray with you every day, send your kid to church to become an altar boy. During the summer, register him or her in a non-mixed Christian summer camp (of course). You have to put Jesus in his life as much as possible, the goal here is to transform one's sexual impulses into impulses of faith.

Can I get an Amen ?